Parenting these days can feel like existing in a pressure cooker, squeezing everything out of a tank that’s already running on fumes. Between global health crises, a never-ending stream of gun violence, politicians voting against the interests of the people they’re elected to serve, and an alarming lack of support on just about every level, it’s unsurprising if you feel like you’re barely treading water most days.
In a new advisory report, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy is sounding the alarm on the realities of parenting today, revealing just how dire the situation is for millions of parents of children under 18. In his report, Murthy cites a bleak statistic issued by the American Psychological Association (APA) in 2023: 41% of parents say that most days they are so stressed they cannot function and 48% call their stress “completely overwhelming.”
It seems the COVID-19 pandemic exacerbated or worsened stressors that were already there, also creating new financial, childcare, and health concerns for so many parents. These stressors disproportionately affect low-income families and those in marginalized communities, who face increased discrimination and a lack of resources that only contributes to mental health concerns, including anxiety and depression.
In 2022, one in four parents said there have been times when they did not have enough money for basic needs, including 24% reporting struggles to pay for healthcare and 20% for childcare, respectively. With upwards of 14 million children experiencing food insecurity in the U.S., these worries impact parents and children alike, and so many parents are taking on these tremendous burdens silently in an effort to shield their children however they can.
Along with financial struggles, parents face longer work hours, with mothers taking on the largest increase, according to data released by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Parents in the “sandwich generation”—i.e., those serving as caregivers for both their children and their parents—face additional strain on their already limited resources, including time, money, and support.
Of course, the overwhelming majority of parents experience worries about school safety concerns, including mass shootings and other forms of violence. Parenting amid an increasing reliance on digital devices and social media is another major stressor, especially for parents of teens. The top social media worries facing parents include concerns that their child’s use of social media could lead to problems with anxiety or depression (53%), lower self-esteem (54%), being harassed or bullied by others (54%), feeling pressured to act a certain way (59%), and exposure to explicit content (71%), according to a 2022 survey conducted by the Pew Research Center.
A lack of access to basic healthcare—including mental health support—plagues parents before they even welcome their little ones into the world, worsening outcomes for moms and babies, especially among women of color, who face a disproportionate level of postpartum depression when compared to their white counterparts.
In short, parents are struggling, and they’re far too often struggling in silence. A lack of social support contributes to feelings of isolation and loneliness, piling onto the overwhelming stress they’re facing day to day. In his report, Murthy is calling upon government aid—namely in the form of child tax credits, universal preschool, early childhood education programs, paid family and medical leave, paid sick time, and investments in social infrastructure—to help bridge the gap faced by so many families across the country.
He also believes that addressing the deepening poverty and housing crises on a local and national level will help minimize risks, while asking employers to enact more policies to support the well-being of parents and caregivers in the workplace, including offering paid parental, medical, and sick leave, flexible and fair work schedules, and access to childcare.
“The stress and the loneliness that parents are dealing with at a disproportionate level has real implications,” Murthy told POLITICO. “We’ve got to provide more financial support.”
Aside from desperately needed financial protections, Murthy summed up the many safety nets needed by parents in a guest essay for the New York Times. “The stress and mental health challenges faced by parents—just like loneliness, workplace well-being and the impact of social media on youth mental health—aren’t always visible, but they can take a steep toll,” he wrote. “It’s time to recognize they constitute a serious public health concern for our country. Parents who feel pushed to the brink deserve more than platitudes. They need tangible support.”
Of the many “silent struggles,” Murthy told USA TODAY that his “hope is that we can shine a light on something that’s affecting millions of people across the country,” adding that parents’ “well-being really does matter, too.”
