Let’s normalize giving moms compliments and support when they’re out shopping with their kids in public—because we all know dads get praise constantly for simply doing what moms do all day, every day. One TikTok mom is calling attention to this frustrating double standard in a now-viral video about her husband, their kids, and grocery store shopping.
“My husband just got home from the grocery store,” TikTok mom Emily Belson begins. “He took both boys. They’re one and two.”
Now look, we all know the stress that comes with taking tiny toddlers anywhere, especially when you’re trying to accomplish something necessary—like buying your family’s groceries, and not, say, aimlessly wandering the majestic aisles of Target. But think about how often you see a mom doing this solo versus a dad doing it by himself.
Yep, that’s what I thought. And likely why Belson’s video is resonating with moms everywhere.
“Three people stopped him to tell him what a great dad he was for taking them to the store,” she vents. “Do you know how many times I’ve taken both of my kids to the grocery store to literally everywhere? A million. How many people have stopped me to say I’m a great mom?”
Zero, is the answer. But you know what we do hear constantly, when our kids are trying to climb out of the shopping cart and grab boxes of Gushers while whining and/or sobbing?
It’s usually some iteration of “Whew, you have your hands full, huh?”
The amount of times my husband has heard this when out in public alone with our two daughters? ZERO IS THE ANSWER. Because society still sees moms as the default caregiver who “should” be doing these tasks with our children, whereas the bar for dads doing literally anything sits firmly between the earth’s mantle and core. And most dads, like my own husband, are uncomfortable receiving praise for simply parenting in public—because it’s such an outdated perception of gender roles.
Belson’s video garnered tons of comments of fellow moms either venting or sharing similar stories:
“Yup. My kids are older now but when my daughter was an infant he took her on a plane alone and everyone helped him,” one said.
“Right? My husband is a great dad but I am sick of people telling me that when I do so much more.”
“This happened to my hubby the other day. I told him no one tells me I am a great Mom,” another wrote.
“Yup. My kids are older now but when my daughter was an infant he took her on a plane alone and everyone helped him.”
“I always loved ‘does he change diapers?’ Um. Yes. They are his kids too. ‘Omg what an amazing dad!’”
Welp, here’s to giving moms more compliments when we see them out and about, and not falling all over ourselves when we see a dad doing the same thing. Parenting is parenting no matter who’s doing it.
A version of this story was originally published on July 19, 2023. It has been updated.
