Is the newborn stage really a magical time? Or, at the very least, is it a time parents look back on with a sense of nostalgia? Not always. That’s the consensus when one exhausted mom took to Reddit seeking advice about all the people who tell her that one day, she’ll miss the newborn stage. There’s just one problem: She’s currently in the thick of it, and as a mom of two, she already knows she doesn’t enjoy this stage.
“Can I please ask parents who have kids who are older this question…do you actually miss the newborn stage if you didn’t like being in it?” she wrote. “I’m a mum of two and I love my kids, but I absolutely cannot wait for newborn time to be over. Once my first born was 5-6 months old I felt like I was more able to understand a little more of what she was trying to say. But I’m back here again with my 10 week old who is actually way chiller than my first was and I still am just not enjoying it as much as I thought I would have.”
She continued,” And is it ok to just simply not enjoy this stage? I feel like so many people are just telling me ‘you’ll miss it…’ when I see pictures on my phone of my first born as a baby, I always tend to gush over the 5-6 month stage, not the newborn stage. Anyone else feel the same?”
As any sleep-deprived, frazzled, unshowered-for-how-many-days-now parent can contend, it’s certainly a relatable question. But she probably didn’t expect the response she got: over a thousand answers commiserating with her.
“Mine are 8 and 6. I rejoiced to be done the newborn stage. It was not a good stage for me with either of them. But watching them grow and develop into their personalities is just so cool. They get cooler every day,” the top-rated comment said.
“Not for a single second. Mine is 11 and the independence, the ability to tell me what’s wrong and what she needs. Watching her personality blossom, seeing her grow as a person is way better to me than newborn times,” another highly voted comment added.
“I hated it so much it’s one of the reasons I’m one and done,” yet another weighed in.
Over and over, parents validated this mom, adding their own experiences and making sure she knew she wasn’t alone.
“My kids are 5 and 8, and I absolutely DO NOT miss the newborn stage. It was extremely difficult and one of the many reasons why we stopped at two kids.”
“I miss my memories that I lost from that time. It’s such a hazy fog. I miss how little she was. I do not miss how hard it was.”
“I have a 7 year old and I never miss any of the previous ages. It just gets better as he gets older. I especially never miss the newborn phase.”
It’s a good reminder that while it’s important to cherish every moment, it’s also OK to admit that not every moment is perfect (or even good). Being a parent is hard and it often sucks, especially if you live in a country like the U.S. where you don’t get enough support from your government or healthcare systems. Admitting that isn’t a failure. In fact, it’s the first step toward holding the systems to a higher standard that could make parenthood easier for everyone.
