When Elizabeth and Joshua Evans were told at just 14.5 weeks pregnant that their baby wouldn’t survive, their world changed forever. Their son—lovingly nicknamed “Baby Joshy”—was diagnosed with a rare genetic condition called Trisomy 18, along with several life-threatening complications. Doctors gently explained the options. The outcome, they said, was inevitable.
But instead of preparing to say goodbye, Elizabeth and Joshua decided to lean into love. They chose to give their son a full life inside the womb—one rich with memories, rituals, and connection. Their story, shared in a now-viral Instagram video, has touched millions. Not just because it’s heartbreaking—but because it’s also deeply beautiful. The video they shared on Instagram (@elizabethevansss) on March 26 has touched millions of hearts, with 26.5 million views and counting.
At Motherly, we believe in honoring every form of parenthood—including the moments that happen in silence, in grief, and in hope. This is more than a story of loss. It’s a testament to love, intentionality, and how even the shortest lives can leave the deepest imprint. And for parents facing similar heartbreak—or wanting to support someone who is—Elizabeth and Joshua’s journey offers both comfort and guidance.
“Every day we had with him was a miracle”
After receiving Baby Joshy’s diagnosis, Elizabeth and Joshua made a powerful decision: to cherish whatever time they had with their son, however brief it might be. “The life he was going to have would be inside me,” Elizabeth captioned the video. “So we made lots of memories to remember our baby.”
Those memories became a lifeline.
They read and sang to him. They cooked together. They took Joshy to a pumpkin patch and celebrated Thanksgiving in Park City. They decorated their home for Christmas. They even threw him a birthday party the night before he was born at 36 weeks. Every kick, every movement was a reminder that he was there—and so, they celebrated him.
These rituals weren’t just about distraction or denial. They were an act of parenting. A way to bond. A way to love.
And for many parents carrying a terminal pregnancy, that kind of memory-making becomes both a healing tool and a lasting legacy.
Related: My baby was misdiagnosed with Trisomy 18
The power of memory-making in a medically fragile pregnancy
When parents receive a terminal diagnosis during pregnancy, it can feel like time is standing still—like everything joyful about expecting a baby has been replaced with fear, heartbreak, and uncertainty. But for some families, creating intentional moments of connection becomes a lifeline. It’s a way to reclaim agency, to parent through the pain, and to say: This child’s life matters.
That’s exactly what Elizabeth and Joshua chose to do. From reading to their son Joshy, to baking cookies and celebrating holidays, they leaned into love—even knowing goodbye was near.
Memory-making rituals like these aren’t just beautiful—they’re powerful tools for navigating grief. They allow parents to feel connected to their baby, to mark milestones with intention, and to begin processing an unthinkable loss with gentleness and grace.
Here are just a few memory-making ideas that other families have found meaningful:
- Reading or singing to the baby
- Writing letters or journal entries
- Creating a pregnancy scrapbook or photo album
- Celebrating holidays or milestones together
- Making hand- or belly-cast keepsakes
- Cooking a favorite family meal “with” the baby
- Choosing a special name or song
- Taking intentional walks or doing favorite activities
- Throwing a “hello” or “birthday” celebration
- Recording voice memos or lullabies
- Creating a playlist or memory box
There’s no “right” way to do this. Even the smallest rituals can become lasting reminders of a deep and enduring bond.
Related: This viral grief trend is breaking moms’ hearts—‘Bury me in comfy clothes’
Why bonding still matters, even in heartbreak
Bonding with a baby during a terminal pregnancy can feel overwhelming, but experts emphasize its importance for both the parents and the child.
Working with a grief doula, therapist, or perinatal hospice team can be incredibly helpful. These professionals provide emotional support, guide memory-making, and create a safe space for parents to process grief while still nurturing the bond with their baby. The time spent bonding can offer comfort, peace, and a lasting connection, even when the journey is heartbreakingly short.
What other parents can take from this story
Elizabeth and Joshua’s journey is a reminder that even in the face of unimaginable loss, it’s possible to choose love, create memories, and honor a baby’s life—no matter how short it may be. For other parents who are facing similar challenges, or those supporting loved ones through a terminal diagnosis, this story offers both inspiration and hope.
- Allow yourself to feel: It’s okay to feel the full range of emotions—hope, joy, sadness, fear. Embrace them, without guilt or shame. Creating memories during a terminal pregnancy doesn’t negate the grief—it affirms the love and connection that is possible, even in heartache.
- Create space for connection: Whether it’s reading, singing, or simply talking to the baby, finding ways to bond, no matter how brief, helps create a meaningful narrative for both parents and baby. These moments are more than rituals; they’re expressions of love and presence.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help: Seeking support from grief doulas, therapists, or perinatal hospice services can be a lifeline. These professionals can guide parents through the emotional complexities of loss and help create a more peaceful and intentional journey.
- You are not alone: Many parents have walked a similar path and found ways to cope and heal. By sharing your story or connecting with others, whether through support groups or online communities, you can find comfort and understanding in the shared experience of loss.
Elizabeth and Joshua’s choice to make the most of their time with Joshy proves that even in the shortest lives, there is a legacy of love and connection. For parents facing loss, this is a powerful reminder that every moment counts.
Support resources for grieving parents
Navigating the loss of a pregnancy or a terminally ill baby can be an isolating and overwhelming experience, but there are resources available to help. Below are a few organizations that provide emotional support, guidance, and connection for parents during this difficult time:
- Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep
A nonprofit organization offering professional photographers to families facing the loss of an infant. They provide families with beautiful and lasting memories during their time with their baby. - Perinatal Hospice and Palliative Care
This network connects families with professionals who specialize in supporting parents through the birth and loss of a baby. Perinatal hospice allows families to make the most of their time with a terminally ill child, focusing on creating memories and offering emotional support. - The Compassionate Friends
This organization offers peer support to parents who have lost a child, regardless of age. They provide a network for grieving parents to find comfort in shared experiences. - Grief Connection
Offering resources and support for families experiencing pregnancy or infant loss, Grief Connection connects individuals with grief counselors, support groups, and healing materials. - Pregnancy Loss Support
This nonprofit provides a comprehensive list of support groups, counselors, and other resources to assist parents coping with miscarriage, stillbirth, or the loss of an infant.
Related: Living life after pregnancy loss: the devastating grief and the joy of hope