Few things bring out sticky family dynamics quite like weddings and babies, as one Reddit user is discovering firsthand. In a recent post, the user shared that her sister recently sent her a link to a baby registry for her sixth child, and she’s wondering if she’s wrong for refusing to buy a baby shower gift for the celebration.
The original poster (that’s OP, ICYDK) revealed that she was “kind of surprised (maybe even a little appalled)” by the request, especially since her sister is expecting a baby girl and has a 1-year-old daughter already at home. “I’m confused why she needs all these things again, especially since this baby is also a girl,” she admitted.
“I’ve never liked buying new baby clothes because they outgrow them so fast, and I don’t see the point in spending $40 on a onesie a baby will wear once,” she continued. “In my opinion, babies don’t care if something is secondhand, so why not reuse what you already have?”
OP added more context to her situation, sharing that she and her husband are in their 20s and childless because they “don’t feel financially ready for kids yet,” although they both really want them. “Meanwhile, my sister and her husband keep having more kids, and every time we’re expected to show up with gifts for each of them—Christmas, birthdays, dance recitals, you name it. And if we don’t, they give us grief, not realizing how much pressure it puts on us and other family members.”
“When I told her I wouldn’t be buying her a baby shower gift this time, she got upset,” she writes. “I said I’d still go to the shower to celebrate, but I didn’t feel the need to buy her a gift since she should already have everything. She argued that each baby should be treated the same, and if I gave her a gift for the first, I should for all of them. She even said I wouldn’t understand because I don’t have kids yet.
Now, neither of us has apologized, and we haven’t talked since the argument. So, AITAH for refusing to buy her a baby shower gift?”
Generally speaking, respondents agreed that OP is not in the wrong for her stance, especially since it is so financially taxing to buy each subsequent child both birthday and holiday gifts every single year. Plenty agreed with her, while some noted that she could keep the peace by buying a practical gift, such as diapers or wipes, instead of toys or clothes.
Others joked that having a shower for baby number six is purely a “shameless gift grab,” arguing that OP shouldn’t feel added financial strain for every gift-giving occasion when she herself would like to have children but isn’t yet able to. Many suggested that she use this as an opportunity to set boundaries around gifts going forward, with OP noting that the current situation is “not sustainable” for her or her savings.
Of course, every expecting parent is entitled to celebrate their new arrival however they choose, but family members should not have to experience financial hardship to do so. Here’s hoping OP can set the boundaries she deserves without further issue or complaint.
