Parenting is full of tender moments, but some stand out as profoundly moving. A recent viral TikTok video captures one such moment: a 14-month-old toddler sees his mother crying, pauses, and then reaches out to hug her—a pure, instinctive act of empathy. The video has resonated with millions, leaving parents wondering: How do toddlers develop such deep emotional understanding?
While many associate empathy with older children and adults, research shows that the foundations of this essential social skill begin forming in infancy. From recognizing emotions to responding with kindness, young children have a remarkable capacity to connect with the feelings of others. But what makes a toddler respond with kindness? And how can parents encourage this emotional intelligence?
The science behind toddler empathy
Empathy isn’t something that suddenly appears in childhood—it develops gradually, starting from infancy. Research suggests that babies as young as a few months old can sense emotions, reacting to their caregivers’ moods. By 12 to 24 months, toddlers begin to show early signs of empathy, like comforting a sad parent, offering a favorite toy, or mirroring facial expressions.
Related: To teach children empathy, you need to model it, mama
When does empathy emerge?
The building blocks of empathy start with a concept called emotional contagion—when babies react to the emotions of those around them. This is why an infant might cry when hearing another baby cry or smile in response to a joyful face. Around their first birthday, toddlers move beyond just reacting; they start recognizing emotions in others and may try to respond in a comforting way, as seen in the viral TikTok video.
A study published in the The Child Development Journal found that toddlers as young as 14 months will attempt to help others in distress, even when they don’t benefit from it directly. This suggests that empathy is not just learned behavior but something deeply rooted in early development.
Why early empathy matters—and its lifelong impact
Empathy isn’t just a heartwarming trait—it’s a crucial skill that helps children navigate relationships, manage emotions, and build strong social connections. Research shows that empathetic children tend to develop better emotional intelligence, form healthier friendships, and demonstrate greater resilience in challenging situations.
Children who develop empathy early on tend to:
- Have better emotional regulation skills.
- Show stronger problem-solving abilities in social situations.
- Build deeper, more meaningful relationships.
- Exhibit lower levels of aggression and higher levels of cooperation.
Empathy also lays the foundation for kindness and inclusivity later in life. Studies suggest that children who are taught to recognize and respond to emotions are more likely to stand up for others, practice generosity, and contribute positively to their communities. The good news? Even small, everyday interactions can help a child strengthen their empathetic instincts.
Related: The beautiful reason why Danish schools teach empathy to kids
How parents can nurture empathy in toddlers
Empathy isn’t just something children develop on their own—it’s learned through daily interactions, modeled behaviors, and intentional guidance from caregivers. While some toddlers may naturally show compassionate tendencies, parents can actively nurture and strengthen this skill through simple, everyday actions.
1. Model empathy in everyday interactions
Children learn by watching. When parents show kindness, patience, and understanding—whether toward their child, a family member, or even a stranger—toddlers begin to absorb these behaviors.
- Express your own emotions openly: “Mommy is feeling a little sad, but your hug makes me feel better.”
- Demonstrate kindness by checking in on others: “Grandma wasn’t feeling well today. Let’s call and see how she’s doing.”
2. Validate and label emotions
Helping children recognize and name their feelings is an important step in developing emotional intelligence. When toddlers understand emotions, they are better able to relate to others.
- Instead of saying, “You’re fine,” try: “You look frustrated because your block tower fell. That must feel disappointing.”
- Encourage recognizing others’ feelings: “Your friend is crying. How do you think she’s feeling?”
3. Encourage gentle responses
When toddlers show kindness—like giving a hug or offering a toy—reinforce these actions with positive feedback.
- “That was so thoughtful of you to bring your stuffed animal to your little sister when she was upset!”
- If they respond negatively, gently guide them toward a more empathetic action: “I see you’re frustrated, but hitting hurts. Let’s take a deep breath and use our words.”
4. Use books and storytelling to explore emotions
Reading stories about characters experiencing different emotions can help toddlers understand feelings in a safe and relatable way.
- Try books like The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld or How Full Is Your Bucket? by Tom Rath.
- Pause during reading to ask, “How do you think this character feels? What could they do to help?”
5. Give toddlers opportunities to help
Even young children feel a sense of purpose when they can offer support. Encouraging small acts of kindness can help reinforce their natural empathy.
- Ask your toddler to help care for a stuffed animal or sibling: “Can you bring your bear a blanket? He looks cold!”
- Involve them in simple household tasks that show consideration for others: “Let’s set the table so everyone has a plate to eat.”
6. Manage screen time with emotional awareness
If your toddler watches shows or videos, use them as opportunities for emotional learning.
- Ask questions like, “Why do you think she’s crying? What could her friend do to help?”
- Choose media that models positive social interactions and empathy.
By making empathy a part of daily life, parents can help their toddlers build the foundation for strong, compassionate relationships—now and in the future.
Related: How to teach your toddler empathy
The bottom line
Empathy isn’t just a feel-good trait—it’s a vital skill that helps children build meaningful relationships and navigate the world with kindness. By modeling empathy, validating emotions, and creating opportunities for kindness, caregivers can help their little ones develop emotional intelligence that lasts a lifetime.
Sources:
- The impact of physical contact on infants. National Institutes of Health. 2020.“To have and to hold: Effects of physical contact on infants and their caregivers”
- Understanding empathic development in toddlers. National Institutes of Health. 2020.“Developmental Changes in Empathic Concern and Self-Understanding in Toddlers at Genetic Risk for Autism Spectrum Disorder”
- Self-regulation development in children. National Institutes of Health. 2016. “Acquiring Self-Regulation – From Neurons to Neighborhoods”
- The evolution of toddlers’ prosocial behavior. National Institutes of Health. 2011. “Toddlers’ Prosocial Behavior: From Instrumental to Empathic to Altruistic Helping”
- Empathy and brain activity in children. National Institutes of Health. 2009.“Empathy is associated with dynamic change in prefrontal brain electrical activity during positive emotion in children”